Healing the divine masculine and sacred feminine: Inner union, inner marriage.
When our divine masculine and sacred feminine don’t trust one another, both of their essences dim, and they become imprisoned to some degree. From there, they will both act out in various wounded ways controlling our lives in ways that can be hard to understand.
Healing the sacred feminine requires us to heal the wounds between the divine masculine and feminine inside of ourselves. This is inner union. This is inner marriage.
Healing our relationship with men and women is part of this journey as well. Though masculine and feminine do not equate to male and female, there is an overlap, there is weaving, and it’s important to keep this in consideration as you examine this relationship within yourself and see how this reflection is mirrored in the rest of your life.
We may have been victimized by toxic masculinity, empathize with that victimization, and feel incredibly uncomfortable embodying the masculine because we associate it with a predator.
Or we may become passive and docile in our feminine nature for self-preservation, or overly identify with the masculine and harden, because we fear being victimized, demeaned, or rejected for embodying the sacred feminine.
We may also have experienced being victimized by the dark feminine and therefore lose all trust in sisterhood, and lose all trust in the sacred feminine - in ourselves and in others.
We must remember these two sacred parts that make a whole - deep in our bones, and deep in the collective bones of life. The divine masculine and sacred feminine depend on one another. We must remember them as the lovers that they are - as one another’s confidant, holding space for one another, striving for the other to thrive.
The divine masculine needs to be trusted.
The divine masculine needs to be trusted in its assertion, and disciplined action - not feared that it’s abusive, or doing harm. The sacred feminine’s felt sense, heart-centered wisdom must be trusted, cherished, and honored - not feared that it’s invaluable or weak.
Sometimes women are victimized by toxic masculinity, or toxic femininity and both can severe her sense of safety to embrace the sacred feminine within herself. Both are abusive and will trigger the feminine to lash out or be submissive in different ways.
The wounded feminine in women can come in varying personas. She can show up as the victim - docile, and dainty, or the people-pleasing, accommodating woman. She can get lost in the role of the martyr or the healer, always leaving herself last, always sacrificing herself in what feels like a sense of honorable duty.
She may struggle to tap into healthy anger, aggression, or assertion. And if she does tap into the fierce warrior it’s often only for the sake of others or a great cause. Or she may overly embody the ferocity in a toxic way as a defense mechanism to keep others at a distance to protect her heart.
She may appear as the manipulative woman who abuses her sacred feminine power, exploiting her sexuality, innocence, charm, and nurturance to get what she wants. Everything she does is stated as unconditional, but there are always ulterior motives.
Then there is the woman who disconnects from her sacred feminine nature altogether. She numbs it, disconnects from her feelings, and plays the role of easy-going, never stating any major needs. She may play off everything as nonchalant, and not even realize she is longing more.
A sense of safety with the divine masculine within ourselves gives us the courage to embrace our sacred feminine power. It gives us the sense of safety to embody our full selves.
When we feel timid in our feminine power, we play small. We may not even realize we are doing it. We may get so stuck in our heads simply trying to accept ourselves that we don’t realize we have created a life that offers no support in honor of our truth.
We’ll completely miss the foundational building blocks needed to pursue our dreams because we can’t find our footing in our truth. We haven’t spoken our truth, we haven’t’ claimed relationships that honor our truth, or encourage our sacred feminine power to come out of hiding.
The divine masculine assures the validity of the sacred feminine’s intuitive wisdom and inner guidance and offers the structure to guide it into manifest. It offers the energetic affirmation that one’s truth aside from all logic is valid. When we honor this energy in ourselves, we attract people with this energy into our lives.
When we are stuck in a state of wavering, disempowered timidness, we don’t ask for what we need. We don’t claim our boundaries. We are afraid we won’t be good enough and we retract instead of claiming the big energy that we are. We fear shining and shining is what enables us to make things happen. We question our worthiness to shine. We question how people will react to us shining. And therefore attract people who are also afraid of us shining because they are afraid to shine themselves.
The lack of belief in one’s self and one’s truth is truly debilitating. The sacred feminine needs the divine masculine to make sure this center does not waver. We need this in ourselves, and we need this in the people we surround ourselves with.
The divine masculine within us affirms that we need to shine. The divine masculine holds space for us to shine. The divine masculine does everything in its power to build a life that supports the sacred feminine’s power to thrive. This is a sacred union ship within yourself. This is being deeply in love with your own self, having your own back.
As powerful women in honor of sacred feminine energy, we have to dream big. Our courage has to override our fear when it comes to failing, rejection, and doubt. And we need the divine masculine to harness the container that helps us root into where the divine is guiding us to manifest.
The sacred feminine works with the unseen world, the heart space, and energy, and when reclaiming this energy we have to teach ourselves how to really ground it. We are conduits for the divine and this is our great service. To listen to the wisdom, and callings coming through and bring them to life.
We have to teach ourselves how to follow our heart, how to follow the call of the divine, and to channel this effectively. We have to learn how to dance between these two sacred energies of feminine and masculine for ourselves and the collective.
Whether you are lacking the fierceness or softness of the feminine, tending your relationship between the divine masculine and sacred feminine within, and examining your relationships between men, and women will guide you on a path to bring balance. It will guide you on a path of reclaiming your personal power.
How we embody these energies within ourselves may be argued with nature versus nurture and ultimately it doesn’t matter. But it is helpful to open our eyes culturally to see where we’ve been programmed and to look at our first role models and unravel what they taught us through their own embodiment.
Masculine and feminine are not a direct translation of male and female, but we see how men and women reject or embrace feminine and masculine energy regarding what the world has taught us is acceptable and safe.
When you were a child what was your first impression of what it meant to be a man or woman? What did you think masculine and feminine each meant? How did your parents reject or embrace the masculine and feminine in their wounded and divine states, and in themselves and in one another?
Our experiences have the opportunity to vastly affect us in different ways regarding what we’ll accept within ourselves and what we reject fiercely without even realizing it. Our experiences have the power to subconsciously shape us and then we attract similar energies that resonate making it harder to see that patterns we are stuck in that don’t serve us.
What kind of men and women are you drawn to in your life today? Do they embrace or reject their sacred feminine nature? Do they harness their divine masculine power or fail to succeed in channeling their divine feminine energy and intuitive wisdom into manifest?
How do the people in your life mirror your weaknesses or show you the strength you are striving for? Our weaknesses are comfortable and it can feel safe to surround ourselves with people who have the same resonance but it’s empowering to also surround ourselves with those who have harnessed types of energy that we have yet to embody. We need to seek the role models we long for and show ourselves it’s possible.
When the divine masculine is rooted with a pure heart-centered, sacred feminine nature, its assertion, disciplined action, and healthy aggression are pure. It’s not threatening. It’s not disrespectful, it’s not abusive or overpowering. It’s of integrity.
When the sacred feminine is rooted with the ability to be assertive, hold her ground with healthy aggression when needed, the intuitive nature has the freedom to flow wildly, without wasted energy on hypervigilance or fear of being safe or valid. She’s grounded in her magic.
When either the masculine or feminine is acting out - or taking on a persona in defensiveness, (or on the offense with a motive) there is a wound. Track it. Tend the wounds. We all have them. We all have them.
Our ability to thrive is dependent on this relationship, this union. We can’t live half-heartedly and experience the depths of love a relationship is capable of, we can’t live half-heartedly and accomplish the dreams that we long for, or experience life in its full spectrum of beauty.
We can heal the sacred feminine all we want, but it still cannot come into its full feminine power when it fears the masculine, when it fears men or women, or when it fears its own safety or validity to be. Tending this relationship is a crucial part of the container we need to come home to ourselves. If we don’t have peace with the polarities within and around us, we’ll never receive the blessings of their power united.
With love,
Abby
