Roe Vs. Wade~Taking Our Bodies Back
It’s time to educate and empower ourselves, and it’s time to prove to ourselves and oppressive forces that they do not have more power over our bodies than we do.
The government, politicians, medical systems, the pharmaceutical industry, and religion can influence our emotions, our moral perspectives, and our beliefs and they can limit our access to information, and care that has been primarily presented to us.
They cannot take away knowledge once we have it.
As women are losing their rights over THEIR bodies all over the U.S. and in acknowledging women have been criminalized for acting upon their own bodies all over the world for too long, and that women have not had rights over their bodies all over the world for far too long, I’m offering everything I can think of that will feed the fire of taking OUR bodies back into our own hands.
One of the ways we have the most power is by deepening our relationship with our bodies, educating ourselves about our reproductive health, understanding how we physiologically work, and all the ways we can tend this ourselves. It's time to take our fertility into our own hands. Know your period. Know your hormonal cycle. And know how to manage your fertility on your own.
There is such a misconception about our fertile window.
There's the misconception that you can get pregnant at any time during your menstrual cycle, that you can only get pregnant if you have sex in sync with the moment the egg drops, and there's the misconception that you can't get pregnant when you're on your period. None of these are true. Ovulation happens during a window of 3-4 days. Sperm can live for 5-7 days. After ovulation completes, you cannot get pregnant. Full stop. When it comes to tracking our cycle, knowing that say a condom broke, or if we have been raped without protection, whatever the scenario may be - knowing this window grants us a great advantage to know if action needs to be taken to prevent pregnancy from occurring.
Having this knowledge as opposed to fearing all sex has the consequence of getting pregnant is a completely different story for women of all ages to reclaim. It's a completely different story to teach our daughters. Making women fear their sexuality is just as damaging as taking away their reproductive rights in its own way.
Reproductive health and menstruation are not just about wanting to get pregnant.
It can be just as much about NOT wanting to get pregnant as wanting to get pregnant, and our reproductive health is so much more than pregnancy. It’s our life force. Our period is considered our 5th vital sign, signaling to us balance or imbalance through the length of our cycle, how long we bleed, the quality of blood, pain, emotional wellbeing, and our energy. I have already written a piece on period care and education so instead of repeating myself I’ll offer you the link here: Period Care 101: Female-Bodied Wellness. Considering hysterectomy is the #2 most common surgery performed on women, educate yourself now and start taking care of your womb.
Most women do not know how the birth control they take works. Access to birth control should not be taken for granted, and the effects of taking it are widely overlooked.
Birth control makes you not fertile. Our fertility is not just about having babies, it’s our vitality.
Our fertility is the tapestry of our biology as a whole. It's the tapestry of our creative life force, passion, and energy, and our pussy fire lives in this cycle. Birth control, simply put, impedes this.
Hormonal birth control often stops us from ovulating and produces what is called a false period. The irony of this is the world makes us believe that we need to embody the energy of the ovulatory stage at all times, that it’s sexy and powerful to imbue and be in this high-energy, juicy-Esque manner all the time, though it's physically being suppressed in most western women.
I’m not shaming birth control or saying you shouldn’t take birth control, I’m saying you should be educated about birth control and how it affects your body and how it works.
Different birth controls affect us and work in different ways and all fall on different scales in this perspective. They either stop you from ovulating (which affects your WHOLE body's hormonal function beyond sex hormones), while some birth control creates excessive mucous so a fertilized egg can not survive or implant and some thin the uterine lining so much that an egg can not implant. Ultimately all birth controls create an inhospitable environment.
Again, ovulation is a 3-4 day period, sperm can live 5-7 days, and aside from that window, you cannot get pregnant. Using protection or practicing abstinence during your fertile window is a safe, side-effect-free alternative to birth control AND it requires you to know your body well. This is a huge responsibility. We do not all ovulate on day 14. We do not always ovulate on the same days each month or cycle. It’s important to know our bodies well. This is activism. This is the reclamation. This is one way we get our power back.
How to know you're ovulating...
Ovulation pee sticks (you can get bulk paper strips) as you learn the other signs to help you know if you are on point. I don't recommend using them alone. When ovulating your vaginal discharge will become like egg whites, and your cervix will get soft if you can feel it with your finger depending on how high your womb rests - it will go from being hard like your chin to soft like the tip of your nose to being hard again like your chin once you are finished ovulating. Your basal body temperature will rise, and you will feel a shift in your energy peak, your libido will heighten, peak, and start to drop so to speak after ovulation, the more in tune you become you will learn to track this energy and these signs. (Please note this is a nutshell example, and educating yourself further is important to really know YOUR body. It takes time to witness and learn. This is a way of life.)
My reason for sharing this is twofold.
If birth control is taken away, do you want sovereignty over your body? And do you want options beyond birth control?
This is not an easy fix. It's not thoughtless. It's a commitment, and it’s a lifestyle to claim this power. I acknowledge this does not cover our options when unwanted pregnancy happens - for whatever reason. This is one drop in the bucket of where we can instigate change, and have more sovereignty and control. The topic is much more vast than just this, I know.
Herbal education is beyond my scope of practice but I do know if you want to take an herbal route it is MUCH safer to take herbs around ovulation to prevent pregnancy from occurring rather than once you are pregnant. This should be knowledge we all have access to and I hate that I can’t offer you direct guidance BUT I can plant the seed to seek this knowledge yourself from a trusted source. *To be clear, initiating an herbal abortion once you have a positive pregnancy test can be very dangerous, I do not speak to this lightly.* What I’m speaking about, is knowing our bodies to offer greater prevention of ending up in a scenario that we don’t want to be in.
Part Two: Reclaiming the Medicine Woman
Wombyn, it’s time to reclaim the wisdom that lives in our bones.
Our reproductive rights are far more vast than abortion, and even birth control. Our reproductive health is in jeopardy and that is something nobody talks about. The traditional western medical system is very cut and dry when it comes to women’s hormones, wombs, and reproductive wellbeing.
After working with women offering abdominal massage for reproductive health (that is paired with a very intensive intake process) for 7 of my 11 years as a massage therapist I have heard story after story….
I've heard story after story of the doctor who said they don’t know why the women have x, y, or z ailment, there is nothing they can do about it, and suggest they get on birth control or get a hysterectomy. I have heard story after story of women expressing to their doctor that something is not right, only to be gaslighted and ignored.
I’ve heard story after story of the hormonal IUD’s instantly sending women into a deep depression, with their libido vanishing and their doctors denying the link, authoritatively encouraging them to keep it in.
I know women who have taken IUD’s out themselves.
I’ve heard from so many women unable or unwilling to endure the emotional side effects of hormonal birth control and feeling overwhelmed by what to do instead.
I’ve heard of so many women getting an IUD within 6 weeks of giving birth before their body is done releasing the lochia (afterbirth) and is already on a natural hormonal rollercoaster.
I’ve heard of so many women who bleed excessively with a copper IUD that it becomes unbearable (while some have it with no problem).
I’ve found women typically don’t know that the pill stops ovulation and impedes the rest of their hormonal cyclical nature our health is dependent on. Ovulation is the peak of the pussy fire energy we cycle through each month, when you stop yourself from ovulating the effect is much more vast than simply stopping you from getting pregnant.
I’ve heard of so many women who get pregnant accidentally shortly after giving birth because they haven’t been given the tools or education to navigate this unpredictable mysterious time of recalibration in their bodies.
I’ve heard horror birth story after more horror birth stories that the details aren't necessary, I will just say the more educated you are beforehand the better and that giving birth can be a beautiful, cherished, and sacred experience.
I've heard of so many women struggling with miscarriage after miscarriage or the inability to get pregnant and their doctors give them no real solution, explanation, emotional support, or insight beyond immediately recommending pharmaceuticals or invasive processes before considering any other options or asking basic questions about diet and their cycles.
This is not to say birth control is wrong or that you shouldn’t take it. This is not to prosecute western medicine.
My intention is to illuminate that the majority of women are not fully educated about the choices we have and are making. If we are not educated about the potential and inevitable side effects, and potential outcomes we can not manage them and lead from a place of empowerment. We must be honest with ourselves, consider the pros and cons, and pick and choose our battles.
Knowledge is power and only you know the best choice for you.
The reality is there is a sacrifice in any and every choice you make. The point is, the decision is yours and you should have full transparency to decide.
When it comes to reproductive ailments such as endometriosis, PCOS, uterine fibroids, ovarian cysts, etc. doctors will most commonly tell you that they don’t know what causes it, there is nothing you can do, and will recommend you get on birth control (so you hormonally stop cycling and the “problem” is not exacerbated any worse with no acknowledgment of the repercussions of that) or get a hysterectomy (again without acknowledging the repercussions). You are not told of any alternative natural options to TRY at the very least. And if you ask about ones you are drawn to, you will often be dismissed and told it won't work or not to do it.
What are some of the alternative options you can consider?
-Vaginal Herbal Steaming, Yoni Steaming, or Pelvic Herbal Steaming
-Diet and Cyclical Living
-Hormonal Balancing
-Abdominal Massage
-Acupuncture
-Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy
Vaginal Herbal Steaming
Hormonal Balancing
Hormonal Balancing - Food is medicine. Diet, lifestyle and herbs can profoundly affect your hormones. Period Care 101: Female Bodied Wellness illuminates signs of hormonal imbalances, and if basic practices don’t produce change like steaming and massage, and cyclical living, it can also be important to get blood work done to see where your hormones are at. Having said that, how many of you have gotten your hormones tested just to be told your fine??
I’ve enjoyed following Cassandra Wilder. Join her mailing list or follow her on IG. She is a naturopath and offers MUCH more than even the average naturopath that is light years beyond a typical gynecologist. You’d be surprised that even many naturopaths are not diving in deep enough, or doing hormonal labs sufficiently. She has programs herself, or even after listening to her you’ll have the insight to ask the right questions, and get the right labs done to know what you need if you prefer to find someone local.
Abdominal Massage
You can search for Maya Abdominal Massage, they are specifically trained to work with the uterus, but other modalities of abdominal massage will still be great because tension release and circulation are a huge part of the healing. Chi Nei Tsang is a Chinese modality that is beautiful, Thai Massage has its own style of abdominal massage, Visceral Manipulation also works with the abdomen but it can be more deep and intense and I believe from my experience as a bodyworker more is not always more. Ultimately, any massage therapist should be able to offer basic abdominal massage upon request. Ask for work on your hips, glutes, low back, and belly. The circulation and tension release of your whole pelvis is crucial.
Acupuncture and Chinese Medicine
Acupuncture and Chinese medicine are AMAZING for gynecological and reproductive health. It is mind blowing the effects of regimented treatment, and the ailments it can heal. From infertility, miscarriages, hormone imbalances, prolapses, deficiencies, getting support during pregnancy, for labor prep, and postpartum care etc. I swear by it. Note that you often have to commit to regular treatments for a period of time. One session cannot work sustainable magic. This is true for most modalities.
Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy
Pelvic Floor Physical Therapy is a beautiful ally for pelvic pain, painful sex, prolapse or incontinence. The majority of women’s pelvic floor muscles are too tight, stuck in a state of activation, and have constant tension. Amidst the hype of keagles, and jade eggs, often what women need is release NOT strengthening. From there we can learn how to work with the muscles properly. Otherwise, it can do more harm than good. There is an array of practitioners that work with releasing tension in the vagina and pelvic muscles, laws are different state by state, and country by country as to what licenses allow internal work. Do your research and find someone you trust and resonate with.
Diet and Cyclical Living
Alissa Vitti’s book In the FLO is great. She goes in to great depth of healing ailments like endometriosis, PCOS, ovarian cysts and fibroids with diet and cyclical living. She also has an app to start tracking your cycle. Usha Ananda, founder of Womben Wellness is another great ally for reclaiming your womb power, period power, and educating yourself all things period.
For HPV and abnormal paps
Danell Barbara Randall, founder of Cervical Wellness is extremely knowledgeable and has a potent story herself of curing HPV against the doctors insisting the limited options they gave her were her only choice.
Mothers and postpartum wellness
Rachel Garcia Seliga, founder of Innate Traditions is another wise woman of invaluable information, particularly for mothers, mothers to be and the postpartum period. ANYONE who has had children - no matter how long ago, anyone who has friends or loved ones with children, her wisdom in invaluable.
Other ways to support your wombynly body…
Give yourself breast massage, use natural deodorants, and don’t eat food with hormones. Be mindful of soy intake as it contains phytoestrogen which can throw off your hormones put simply. When the vegan fad first surged I jumped on board to the extreme and I was having soy milk, soy cheese, soy meat, soy everything and I started having my period every two weeks. By the time I figured it out, I cut out soy completely and immediately went back to a 28-day cycle.
Eat whole foods. Don’t be afraid of fat. We need it, especially as female-bodied beings. Eat good quality meats and animal products that are hormone-free, antibiotic-free, humanely treated, and grass-fed. And EAT. Steady food intake, and steady blood sugar is crucial for hormonal health. Don’t drink coffee on an empty stomach, don't skip breakfast, don’t intermittent fast, EAT, keep yourself satiated, and love your body.
I know this is A LOT of information but it’s information we all need. Whether or not it is directly applicable to you, it’s applicable to all the women in our lives.
I appreciate you taking the time to read this for all wombyn kind. You never know when you are going to meet someone who is going through something, that something in here is applicable too.
Part 3: Hysterectomies, our cervix and our pussies.
Hysterectomies are the second most common surgery for women.
Aside from the debate of what percentage of those are even necessary - don’t let them take your cervix just because it prevents you from the chance of getting cervical cancer without educating yourself.
Neural pathways from your cervix are different pathways than the rest of your vaginal neural pathways. Some people who are paralyzed can still orgasm and feel sexual pleasure because of this. The cervix is highly orgasmic, and spiritually and energetically she is the heart of your pussy and the Queen of your womb. This is a profound part of your body. All I can say is if it’s not truly medically necessary do not let anyone take that away from you.
Thank God/Goddess for western medicine and science AND try the alternative (and ancient) approaches where applicable first. Get a second, third, or fourth opinion. Do your research. Connect with YOUR body.
Hysterectomies are the second most common surgery in women, cesarian sections are number one. The top two surgeries performed on women are both to the womb.
When it comes to birth, again, educate yourself. Know the hospital's standard procedures, or your midwives, and know what you have a choice over. Know the protocols for different common scenarios so you know your options. This is an article in itself and I offer you two paragraphs. My number one recommendation is if you are pregnant or want to become pregnant read Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth. Regardless of wanting to have a home birth, wanting to go all natural or getting an epidural, birthing in the hospital, and leaving it all to the doctors - educate yourself. This book is invaluable to make your birth what you want and need.
This knowledge will empower you more than words could ever express. If you plan to have a hospital birth there is nothing wrong with that, if you plan to have a home birth, there is nothing wrong with that. You feeling safe is the number one thing when it comes to giving birth. If your nervous system is not settled, that typically will impede the birthing process more than anything. Being educated and understanding what is happening in your body allows you to protect the natural process of your body, and for you to feel safe in your bodies process. Educating yourself puts the power in your hands to protect the birth that is best for you and your wants and needs.
The vagina-brain connection ~ We are shifting gears for the home stretch.
Sex and reproductive health are bound. There is a vagina-brain connection - sexual pleasure through the neural pathways feeds our brains with feel-good chemicals invoking happiness, joy, creativity, confidence, and vitality.
Whether we see it directly or not - the porn industry has invaded the subconscious minds of all misleading us as to what sex should look like, how a woman’s body works, what a woman should look like, what’s attractive, and what a woman desires. This seeps through the beauty industry, and how sex is portrayed in the media, in imagery all around us, in movies, and on TV. It seeps into our relationships and affects all our human interactions.
This messaging systemically makes it very challenging for women to hold their ground, truth, boundaries, and needs sexually. This impacts our reproductive rights tremendously. This impacts our experience in our bodies tremendously.
Advocate for yourself in partnership if you don't want to take birth control. It's a team effort to make that shift. Advocate for what you need from partners to have safe sex. Don't feel pressured to engage in sex that is beyond your comfort zone, or sacrifice boundaries and needs that your heart is not genuinely at peace with. Claim your right to not have sex guilt-free and shame-free if you simply don’t feel like it. No matter how in love, and how safe a relationship is. Do not feel rushed for penetration if you need more arousal or foreplay first. Nurture trust and confidence in listening to your pussy and heart and what they want, need and tell you. Your being is wise, and your heart and pussy are your power centers.
Every woman is neurologically wired differently, meaning that different parts of her pussy and vulva will be more orgasmic than others i.e. clitoris, labia, perineum, anus, g spot, cervix, etc. No two bodies are the same, and it’s empowering to know your body and release any shame in being different than the stereotypical messages you’ve received.
It takes on average 45 minutes for a woman to become fully aroused and engorged. There is so much shame, and rush that women inflict upon themselves due to not understanding the divine design of their bodies.
Vibrators often overstimulate the neural wiring and can desensitize you to pleasure - leaving you needing more and more stimulation and pressure. Try your hands and/or a glass dildo.
Brazilian-Esque waxing can also desensitize the tissue. Consider using an electric razor that you can set the length so the hair is short, but just long enough to be soft, not spiky, or leaving you with razor bumps and ingrown hair. And don't be ashamed to keep your pubic hair wild if you desire.
For some women, their pubic hair prevents vaginal irritation. Our body's divine design has its reasons. To each their own, again no shame or judgment, just know if you tend towards vaginal irritation, that may affect it.
So much of our pelvic health is tied to calming our nervous system and feeling safe.
Our pelvic health is tied to our hormonal health and our mental health. It’s also tied to our spiritual and energetic health. It’s all bound. It’s all woven. And we have the power to reclaim what is ours.
There is so much information, that it’s felt nearly impossible to condense this, this is one of the longer posts I’ve shared, and I've barely scratched the surface. PLEASE reach out with questions or thoughts. I’m happy to answer what I can and refer you to outlets I’ve cherished myself. There are lots of women doing good work in the world to excavate what has been lost. We have to seek out the knowledge that is rightfully ours.
Thank you for receiving what I've been aching to share. I hope it has found you well. May it be in honor of our mothers, and grandmothers, and our daughters, and the next generations. May we stand together and reclaim our bodies as they are rightfully ours to claim.
With marigold love,
Abby
