A love note from the hills of the morning.
I have a secret joy of opening old journals to a random page, like drawing a tarot card of the day. I usually end up laughing or crying, realize how much I've grown, see the loops I'm still stuck in, or stumbled across what seems to be a love note I left for myself long ago to find.
January 12th, 2012
We are not meant to be perfect we are meant to be whole. Don't compare yourself to anybody. Nobody knows what is best for you better than yourself. Your perspective of the world, and your experience is your own unique beautiful view. Nobody else can know better how you should direct yourself through it, because they will never see or feel it the way that you do. You need to balance following your heart with logic but more importantly know that your intuition lies deeper beyond both of those. It knows better than either of them. There is no design to life. No rules, no plan. You cannot screw it up. You can do things that may cause pain to either yourself or others, maybe both, and you will learn from that. Trial and error. You don't learn from people telling you what to do and what not to do, you learn from experience and examining the world around you. You live and you learn.
The more consciously you walk towards life, the more consciously life will walk towards you. The more true you are to yourself the truer the life you magnetize around you will be. There is nobody to hide from. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Don't be afraid of judgements or failure. Don't fear. Fear will only restrict your growth. Insecurities and fear are like locks and chains holding you from the freedom to be. You don't want anybody or anything in your life that would ever shame you for showing your true light. Don't hold your light back because the shadows will draw people who inspire you to keep hiding. Align your actions with your words, with your thoughts, with your feelings. If you want to say yes, say yes. If you want to say no, say no. What is right I accept, and what is wrong I reject.
Respect yourself. When people emphasize treat others how you want to be treated. Remember to treat yourself how you want others to treat you as well. You can't help what you feel, so don't feel bad about it. Guilt is a worthless emotion. Fear is a worthless emotion if you let it swallow you. Insecurities are a waste of time. Know that and hold strong to that. Gratitude. Constantly remind yourself of everything you are grateful for and just soak it up. When you don't know what to do, ask yourself what excites you. What would get you completely worked up and stoked about life. Do that. Happiness should be a number one priority. Sometimes you need to be selfish to take care of yourself but that doesn't mean you have to trample people on the way. There is graceful ways to not do what others prefer, to give yourself what you need.
Remember that everybody has good intentions. All of us hold good in our heart and mean well. You have to be careful who you surround yourself with though, because even though people mean well doesn't mean they will create wellness for you. Listen to advice and be careful who's you take to heart. You have to know what you want to pursue your dreams and sustain your happiness. Don't waste time on regrets. Don't worry. You'll waste all your time worrying about things that never even happen. Love. Don't be afraid to love. It only leaves you feeling lonely.
I found this photo from right around this time in my life. My best girlfriend and room mate at the time woke me at dusk for a sunrise trek and introduced me to the Hills Of Morning by Bruce Springsteen. <3
Cheers to good friends, sunrises, good friends, and nostalgia.
