The resilient woman alchemizes all that is, into GOLD.
A resilient woman knows that when she has the courage to face the fullness of what is, it invokes her power to alchemize it all into gold.
When it comes to freeing our feminine souls, diving into the dark waters of our deepest wounds is part of the journey. What we withhold takes up space. It takes away from the capacity of our conscious self to thrive.
Sometimes we make the choice to dive deep into the waters of our subconscious selves because we are seeking freedom. Sometimes our past creeps up on us when we least expect it, and sometimes things just happen - trauma, stress, loss, and life’s natural cycles of change, endings, and beginnings.
When it comes to resiliency, diving into the dark waters of our deepest wounds is part of the journey. Facing our shadows is part of the journey - whether by choice or by chance. What we withhold in the depths of ourselves, takes up space. It takes away from our capacity to thrive.
Without facing our pains of the past, they will follow us, and without facing our fears and insecurities, they will hold us back from growing.
Resiliency takes courage.
It comes from the courage to face the truth. It comes from the courage to face your shadows and look them right in the eye. It comes from the courage to surrender to the underworld when it starts to pull on you instead of resisting it, hoping the wave will pass without catching you in its current.
Resiliency comes from surrender.
Whether that’s surrendering to the unknown of new beginnings, birth, the truth of your heart, or it’s surrendering to endings and change. Resiliency is the courage to walk away or leap when you know you must, and it’s making the choice to dive into your past when you have a stark realization that you will always come up against a wall until you do.
The thing about resiliency is that you cannot bypass the grief of your hardships. Resiliency is alchemizing the aftermath of heartache, strife, and struggle. Resiliency is the part where you have the power of choice moving forward. But before you choose how to move forward, you must honor the holy pause of acceptance and truly grieve what has been.
What life brings is out of our control but the more we learn to release resistance the more power we have. When it comes to the underworld, we are usually forced into it unless we’ve been there before because until you’ve experienced the freedom when you meet the light of dawn, you’ll rarely have the courage to surrender to the night willingly.
When the underworld starts tugging you can try and ignore it but you can’t escape it. It always finds a way. Whether it triggers you into self-sabotaging habits that wreak enough havoc to wake you up. Or it brings people and situations serendipitously into your life to you to egg on the darkness to a height where we have no choice but to look at it.
Your shadows are like a festering wound that can’t heal without you tending it, and if you ignore it, it will spread until it there is nothing left uninfected.
Resiliency comes from alchemizing the past and claiming the present, but you can’t alchemize the past without facing it and allowing what needs to move, to move. Resiliency needs us to surrender and trust the process.
Resiliency may be invoked through our journeys of hardship but it’s fueled by a longing for life. It’s fueled by perseverance and a refusal to miss out on the beauty of this world. It comes from wanting to see the gold in everything.
Resiliency is fueled by faith in the magic of the unknown. Resiliency is our perseverance to really live our life.
It’s not until we truly see the darkness that we can alchemize it into gold, and you can’t truly appreciate the gold unless you’ve been engulfed by the darkness.
It’s up to us to let the hardest lessons reveal their beauty. We can stay bitter, we can refuse to accept and refuse to look but it only harms ourselves. It’s a disservice to us to live stubborn and pessimistic. There is always gold, it’s our choice to whether to commit to finding it.
We too can dance with life, just like the wild waters of a river kiss the boulders in their path, gracefully dancing along the river's edge, flowing over cliffs, and cascading into effervescent pools.
We too can be the mist creating rainbows in relationship to the light, and icicles and frost forming in the chilled aired. We too, can release our resistance to the landscape of life, with no force, or holding back, embodying the current that simply is.
The adversities we face, that initiate deep personal transformation are gateways to our feminine power. Kali Ma is the fierce mother who often midwives us through these transmutations. She often appears in images with skulls, and bloody limbs around her waist, and is associated with death.
The thing that gets misinterpreted about this great mother, is that she does not destroy for the sake to destroy. She destroys what does not serve the highest good. She destroys what is keeping us small, and imprisoned, and she holds our hand as we face the darkest of darkness, as we shed what needs to go.
Resiliency means being able to alchemize what has been into fuel for our passion to make something better. It’s summoning our fire that refuses to give up.
Resiliency means not being held back by your past, and not doubting your ability to make the most of the future. It means alchemizing our fear of the worst and our fear that our pains and struggles will perpetually repeat themselves, into excitement and trust in the unknown.
Resiliency is reclaiming faith in the beauty of the world. It’s reclaiming divine trust in the workings of the universe. It’s honoring your life as a beautiful experience as opposed to something that you're a victim of.
It’s taking your personal pain and shifting your perspective to see it as a collective experience we all go through in some form or another.
Divine trust is at the heart of resiliency. Surrendering to what is out of our control and choosing to have faith is the only way to free our hearts to hold faith in the future, in our potential and it’s the only way to truly take in the beauty all around you.
If we don’t trust life, if we don’t trust the universe we cut ourselves off from the love available. Having divine trust doesn’t mean you have faith you’ll only receive happiness, it means having faith that the depth underneath it all has the potential to make our lives richer.
The world will throw at us what it may and we have no control over what’s brought. But we get to choose what we do with it. We can either let it overpower us or we can choose to openly receive and alchemize it into something that feeds us.
It often takes time to find clarity coming up from the underworld, but once you do cross the thresholds of these initiations, you see the world with new eyes. You would never wish your hardship to be taken back in comparison to what you have gained. You are changed, you are stronger, and you are more resilient.
It’s coming out the other side that breeds the courage. So be gentle with yourself when you naturally want to fight the waves. The internal struggle is part of the process, it’s how we learn. We can’t see clearly in the midst of it. It’s messy. It’s supposed to be and accepting that will feed your strength.
It’s coming out the other side of the darkness that teaches us great respect for this medicine.
It's this journey that nurtures our understanding and love for feminine spirituality, that takes us on an infinite spiral of death, and rebirth, as we root deeper, and expand further each time. Each spiral, we learn to recognize when surrender is calling with more ease, and we begin to more easefully find trust with where it is taking us.
I share this as a warm fire to comfort your soul in the midst of transformation. In the midst of treacherous waters, great loss and great growth. I share this as a reminder that with each step, you are becoming an even stronger, more resilient woman than you already are.
With love,
Abby
